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Below are Penair School's Ten Commandments. I wrote them in a textiles lesson. *cough* No I didn't. No. No. I wrote them in an ENGLISH lesson. *shifty eyes* Yes, English, that's better. The extra info (denoted by * and ** was added l8r). ByeliesXXX
- Thou shalt not smile.
- Thou shalt not look like you’re enjoying yourself. Ever.
- Thou shalt not cough / sneeze / yawn etc.
- Thou shalt not learn anything of interest or that could possibly be useful in later life.
- Thou shalt not write French coursework in your own time since some little scab cheated and got it off the internet.
- Thou in year 10 or 11 shalt not have time to breathe because of the amount of homework / coursework / exam revision you have to do.
- Thou taking Geography / History etc. shalt not go even one word over the limit or hundreds of marks will be deducted due to lazy examiners.
- Thou in year 11 shalt not ever go home because you have so many after-school lessons you might as well live in the library.
- Thou shalt never argue with teachers when they’re wrong / point out obvious mistakes they’ve made and you’ve spotted because you’re already far more intelligent than they’ll ever be. *
- Thou shalt never dare to wear coats inside: thou shalt sacrifice thou’s self to hypothermia first. **
- Thou shalt not point out that there are 11 commandments because Penair School Lawmakers (teachers) say there are 10. So there.
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* Special mention must go here to two very intelligent people from my maths lessons over the past two years, as this commandment was inspired by Thusnelda and Ingeborg’s regular arguments with our maths teacher, Mr. Twaddle-Babblejack. (Identities secretified for obvious reasons i.e. to protect the intellectuals from screaming fans, and the teacher fr...actually, why are we protecting the teacher again Tilly???) |
** I thought you might like to know: about three weeks before we left Penair, the Judge (i.e. our Headmistress, Mrs. Magdalena-Wambly, again, identity secretified), or it might’ve been the governors...same thing...she’s on the board...brought in another CrAZy new rule: since they’ve FINALLY (and we’ve been waiting FIVE YEARS!!!) decided to introduce school fleeces you’re no longer allowed to CARRY YOUR OWN COAT AROUND during the school day!!! And people say I’M crazy!!!!!! :D   
Look!!! The Little Book of RaNDoM has been given permission (and yes, even more astonishingly, The Little Book of RaNDoM asked for permission!!!!) to show this amazing piece of work from the internationally renowned artist, Alien. Thanks m8!!!!
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Description of ProductX mummy
Summer 1999, Totnes, near the bridge: mummy had an eppy and went apeshit.
Yesterday: mummy went skitzo.
Mummy much better now, thanks for asking. |
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