This page is muchly dedicated to the memory of Tilly Redstone, who is, in fact, not dead.  Tilly is my minion.  I could not live without her.  She guides me through life and teaches me about the ancient art of tmesis.

So...this is the shark philosophy page.  The reason for this is simple.  The only reason my Tilly continues to survive is her quest to find the answer to this question:

Will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?

When Tilly has at last gained a satistfactory answer to this question, she will, for the first time in her short, unhappy and difficult life, be able to live as a normal minion.  Please find it in your hearts and philosophical minds to take the time to ponder this question, and let her know your answer.  E-mail thelittlebookofrandom@hotmail.co.uk and I will post your thoughts here for her to read.  Please HELP MY MINION!!!!!

By the way...the big blank spaces on this page are not due to my being technically challenged.  They are areas of great philosophical tension, which will help you ponder Tilly's conundrum (diddly diddly diddly doo DOO).

ANSWERS                 (yes!! we've received answers!!!)

• the person who will swim faster than a shark is the unknown boy who resides in a windy and dusty castle in the landlocked lakeless dead (yes dead) centre of outer mongolia. he pracices every day in a pool of orange juice (with ice cubes and one of those paper umbrellas) with an old headless shark by the name of boris junior. sadly boris senior was devoured by a deranged tuna fish. sad, but it's true. go forth little minion and seek out this boy. he has green hair and blond eyes. a conundrum, yes, but that's life. does this answer your question?
  from wibbly wobbly.
  ps to the mimion: farewell and have a good journey. just follow the yellow brick road, it will lead you to everywhere. have good luck too and a sprinkling of died chilli powder in your left hand pocket.

Answer recieved on 31/5/05 from wibbly wobbly.

• Tilly must put her mind at rest, especially during this muchly brain
  crunching revision time.
  
  How can she be sure that there has not already been a boy born who can
  swim faster than a shark?
  
  Perhaps in some parallel universe?
  
  Perhaps in our universe, but documented by some, as yet, undiscovered
  tribe?
  
  In the words of the great Bard (please substitute Tilly for Horatio)
  
  "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
  Than are dreamt of in your philosophy"
  
  Muchly love
  
  TillyfanXXX

Answer received on 1/6/05 from Tillyfan.

• Yes, if it is a small shark

   

       or a fast person.

Answer received on 6/7/05 from Sharky.